


A world alone

by Hashgrier



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Multi, OOCNabana, Rating May Change, SO GAY, Slow Build, based off songs, but no homo, jeanmarco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2129373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hashgrier/pseuds/Hashgrier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean hasn't had anyone to call his own for a very long time. His life has been full of empty, meaningless relationships and faces all as replaceable as the last. He just can't help it. People aren't his "thing" and haven't been for years. Then one day, Marco Bodt steps in, and practically shoves him into the world. Jean's not quite sure, but inside that hollow chest of his, he might have felt something flutter.<br/>In which Jean has night terrors, and Marco likes cheesecake</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Do nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look, another college AU, how original...*sweats nervously*  
> Just bear with me for this one ok?

_All my fake friends, _

_ And all of their noise, _

_ Complain about work. _

_ They's studying business, _

_ I study the floor. _

_ The people are talking, _

_ People are talking, _

_ Let 'em talk cause we're dancing in this world alone, _

_ World alone, _

[ _ We're alone. _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL9GvX9OzDE)

* * *

 

My life had always been lonely. I've never really opened up to people so to say. For years I carried the unshakable fear that whatever I loved, would be ripped away from me. After the age of thirteen, I decided to keep my friendships shallow and my relationships non-existent. I never got involved with anything during high-school. Most kids got into clubs based on their interests. I could have made it into the art club, but I was too afraid that people would get to know me, and even worse, that I would want to get to know them. I do understand now that this fear I carried was completely irrational. Not that there wasn't a reason for my weird behavior, there was, I swear, but I’m not really ready to go there. It doesn't matter anyway. All that matters is that he’s gone, and it was a years ago. For so long I was suffocating inside my own head. I was blind and deaf and dead inside. I was  _surviving_  but I had forgotten how to  _live_.

So this is the tale of how Marco Bodt breathed air into my lungs, and showed me a new world.

* * *

 

I basically started college with no friends. I had three people on my contact list; my mom, my dad, and my cousin/arch nemesis Eren Jaeger. Sometimes I was pretty sure my parents only gave me their numbers to prove to me that they existed. My entire childhood was, "We'll buy you the thing if you leave us alone." I didn't bother them, and they gave me anything I wanted. That was probably where my problem started. I never really had social skills, and my best friends were Pokémon gym leaders. You couldn't exactly press A to add someone to your friendship list. If only it were that easy.

Eren on the other hand was on a completely different level of family conflict. Sometimes I wondered if we were really related. He definitely got the more…blessed genes from my father's side. Tanned skin, eyes which changed from grey to green, broad, toned shoulders, and soft, brown hair. Though that didn't take away from his terrible personality, and that angry expression we both carried. It was probably why the only action he’d gotten in the last few years was a drunk fling with his adoptive sister's friend, Nabana. We still kept in touch over Skype, because that girl didn't have a phone. Okay, I started college with one friend, although that friend was miles away back in my hometown, and could barely operate a computer. You’d think that in this day and age most people would just accept that Technology is a must-have to function properly in society. Well obviously not, because Nabana has less technological skill than my grandmother.

Apart from Nabana and Eren, this was a fresh start for me. New shallow friends, new meaningless hook-ups, and most importantly, a new home. If that’s what you call the Maria dorms. They said that this building used to be military barracks, and I could see why. Everything down to the last paper on the registration desk was in perfect order. The clerk was a short man with steely grey eyes and a sour look on his face. I couldn't help physically looking down on him, which earned me a glare as he checked my ID, and handed me a key.

“Oh fuck no,” I heard from the cork noticeboard down the hall. I almost couldn't believe my ears.

“Eren? What the fuck are you doing here?” Just when I thought I wouldn't have to deal with him until summer.

" _I got a job as a janitor so I could stalk you all day long_. What do you think, I fucking go here you asshole,” Eren retorted. No amount of good genetics could fix that shitty personality. I decided to go see what was so interesting on the board anyway.

“Oh  _fuck_ no,” I said, scowling at the piece of perfectly crease-less paper. On it were the dorm numbers and roommates. Some sick human thought that it would be wise to put Eren and me in the same dorm. That meant sharing a bathroom with the guy. That meant being in the same room as him  _every night._ “There’s got to be a way to fix this.”

“If you’re that unhappy with your dorms, you’ll have to find a transfer to switch with one of you. Then just fill out a transfer form and hand it in to me or whoever else is at this desk.” The clerk interjected from behind us. His monotone voice made me want to go to sleep and burst out laughing at the same time, though I determined that neither would be appropriate, so I just stuck with a short, “Thanks,” as the man handed us a piece of paper. While Eren read over the form, my phone vibrated in my back pocket, a rare occurrence these days.

 **(1) Skype Message from Banana)** Skype has messaging???!!!!

Then seconds later I received,

 **(from Banana)**  JEAN HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPITALS????

 **(from Banana)** its ok jean I figured it out

I sighed as I typed a response.

 **(to Banana)** You need a phone

I had just hit send when I heard a shriek of agony from Eren about the one to two-week transfer period. The request had to be approved by all these people, and then the transfers actually had to move, both of which in theory would only take a day, but due to the staggering amount of transfer requests being sent over the first week of college, it took weeks. I had a feeling that we’d either be the first to give one in, or be marginally last and have to wait the maximum two week transfer period.

 I decided to leave the whole ‘find a person’ ordeal to Eren. I knew that if he had come to this school, his little posse was bound to be here too. Eren’s little servants consisted of Mikasa-his adoptive sister, and Armin. Mikasa was basically Eren’s mother away from home, and without her, he’d probably be dead. She was also pretty much the only girl I had taken interest in during high school. I spent several months drooling over her before I realized that she would only ever have one true love. Armin on the other hand knew what he was doing, and although he still did everything he could to make Eren’s life great, he was extremely focused on his own. He was honestly the most intelligent person I had met in my life, and it was more than a little intimidating. Though Armin didn't look like much, he could pick apart your brain, and re-arrange it in one conversation. Trying to lie to him was a death-trap, one of the reasons why I had never attempted to befriend him. My secrets were secrets for a reason.

Eren stood at the desk, trying making polite conversation with the clerk as he filled out the form, only to receive irritated glares and one-word answers from the tiny man. He looked like someone spat in his coffee every time Eren spoke. To avoid being pulled back into this, I decided to go and get my luggage from the car. I didn't take much with me. There wasn't really much for me to take. I tried not to spend more than I could pay back, even though that was difficult when people like my father would blow fifty-thousand dollars on a watch.

One of my most deep-set hates in life was greed, which is why living on campus was the best decision for me. It seemed like they had left most of the decorating to the students. The rooms were small, containing just the essentials. Two desks, two single beds, two cupboards, and a bathroom. I would be perfectly content with the slightly claustrophobic vibe the room gave off, except the fact that I had to share it with Eren sent shivers down my spine. _For now, you only have to share with Eren for now._ But how long was now going to become? I couldn't bear to think of it any longer. Unpacking would take my mind off the whole situation.

I was nearly finished arranging my clothes in the tacky, Ikea wardrobe, when Eren barged into the room rather unceremoniously. He stomped across the doorway, and threw himself down onto the bed. For a while we just didn't speak. I continued to unpack and ignore his existence. Eventually, I started to believe that he was taking a nap.

“I got Armin to transfer with you, so you probably shouldn't unpack anymore.” My head snapped around so fast that my neck made an audible crack. Having someone you believe to be unconscious, suddenly starts talking with clarity to you is honestly one of the freakiest experiences ever.

 “Jesus Christ Eren!” My heart was beating at a million miles an hour, my poor head feeling slightly dizzy after the neck-snapping turn. Eren was currently staring at the ceiling with his hands resting on his abdomen. I had never seen him in such a reflective state as this, and I began to wonder what he spoke about with that Clerk while I was gone. "Shouldn't you be the one unpacking?" Eren lethargically raised himself from the bed, and ambled to where his bag lay. 

"I have all year to unpack." He sighed, grabbing his towel and various bathroom products. I thought this statement was a little out of character coming from him, though I wasn't quite sure why. I had the feeling that if Eren wanted to unpack, he would have definitely been done by now. The bathroom light flickered on, "Taking a shower, I'm going out to meet Mikasa and Armin. Oh-and Armin's roommate. I would say you were welcome to come, but you're not." And with that, he slammed the door. As the water started to run, I realized that Eren would meet my new roommate before I did, and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that.

Spending your first night of college alone wasn't the best feeling in the world, no matter how socially challenged you were. I spent most of it playing Black Ops on my newly installed PS3, and talking to Nabana over Skype. Her first day at the state college was going well apparently, and she had just finished her application for the student exchange program to Australia. 

"I'm gonna see drop-bears Jean!" Her blonde hair now hung past her shoulders, recovering from the hideous decision she had made a couple years ago to cut it all off. All through high-school, Nabana was one of the most serious and dedicated students in my year. This was until she received her SAT results. They were far below what was expected of her. Although, instead of imploding on herself and wallowing in self-pity, Nabana had turned it into a reason to 'strive for greatness'. Basically, in her senior year, she learned how to take life less seriously. I've never really understood how she survived without a computer until Junior year, and how she didn't use it at all until that summer. 

"You do know that drop-bears don't exist," I pointed out while locking in y choice of ammunition. 

"What planet are you on Jean, of course they exist," she was slightly more gullible than the average 18 year old.

"Yeah, and Genovia's a really country between France and Spain," I replied sarcastically. Nabana was the only person I felt comfortable making Princess Diaries references around.

"Jean, it's 2014. They're never making a sequel where Mia comes back as queen. Get over it."

"Low blow Banana, low blow," I knew what was coming next.

"In fact Jean," she muttered with a smirk on her face, "Maybe you should-"

"Don't you dare-"

"Let it go."

"Ok. Leave. Go away." I felt that the conversation was just coming to an end, and hung up promptly after that. I can't say it was a good idea, because once she was gone, I was stuck between doing nothing, and going to sleep. I looked over to the clock. Nine-thirty. I could have gone to bed, at nine-thirty, like a looser, or I could just continue playing video games until Eren got home, like a looser. I decided on the former, and went to take a shower. The stream of water the shower produced was scalding hot, but I knew it was that, or the arctic ocean. I didn't really mind, the hot water took my mind off the next challenge of my night. Sleeping. I wasn't exactly an insomniac, but getting to dreamland wasn't exactly a walk in the park. It was more like a walk in the park at night, in an area well know for their drug-dealing muggers with chainsaws.

There wasn't really a way to avoid it. I stared at the bed like it was my enemy. It was as if I was scared the bed would suddenly attempt to swallow me up if I touched it. This was a moment that I was glad I was alone, because I would have looked like a complete idiot. Cautiously, I climbed under my sheets and closed my eyes. I focused on my breath. 

_In_

_Out_

Eventually, I drifted asleep.

* * *

_The night was cold and still. Wet dew stuck to the grass, seeping through my sneakers. I could see my hot breath in front of me._

_A pair of oncoming lights flashed at the end of the road._

_The figure was standing at the edge of the curb, looking the other way as it stepped out._

_The broad shoulders and narrow hips told me that it was definitely male, though he walked with an unfamiliar bounce in his step._

_The lights at the end of the road approached with alarming speed. He couldn't see them._

_I shouted, but nothing came out of my mouth. My feet started to run, but became cemented to the ground. I tried to scream._

_Nothing._

_The figure looked up, finally noticing the car, but it was the last thing he saw._

_I couldn't hear the impact, but I sure did see it._

_Blood and body parts covered the asphalt._

_Suddenly all my senses rushed back into me._

_I stumbled over to the body, or what was left of it. I was sobbing ugly, loud tears._

_"Jackson no-", I stopped crying once I looked at what was left of the face._

_Freckles, big brow eyes, tanned skin._

_This wasn't Jackson._

_This was the face of a stranger._

* * *

 

I woke up in a cold sweat. My body shook and I reached for my pillow which had ended up on the floor at some point. My eyes wondered to the alarm clock next to the bed. 3:06 am. I sighed, and pulled myself out of the covers. Thank god Eren wasn't in yet, he'd never have let me live this down. There was no way I was going to go to sleep in this state. I needed someone, or something. I considered calling Nabana, but she was bound to be asleep. I peeled off my t-shirt, and replaced it with a fresh one. Once I was fully dressed, pants and all, I grabbed my wallet and keys, and trudged to the door. The dorm halls were silent. Not many people had moved in yet, and the ones who had were fast asleep, or too drunk to make much noise. In the lobby, the night clerk observed me with a raised eyebrow. It wasn't uncommon to have kids rolling up at 3 in the morning, but to have one leaving so early was almost unheard of. He just sighed and went back to his issue of Men's Health magazine.

I wandered around Trost for a while, crunching leaf piles and resting on random benches. The night was different to the one in the dream. It was warm and dry, with a gusting breeze which tried to make off with my beanie on more than one occasion. One wet droplet landed on the tip of my nose. I looked up, and saw that she sky was grey and clouded. On instinct, I ducked into the first sheltered area I saw, a 24 hour cafe.

In my rush to escape the oncoming downpour, I slammed face-first into the shoulder of a hunky blonde guy who was just by the door, getting up from his seat. I basically fell flat on my ass in the doorway. I mumbled an apology, not meeting his eyes, and slid past him to the table in the furthest corner of the room. The cafe was dimly lit, and smelled like burt coffee beans, but I sure as hell didn't want to be outside right then. the sound of the rain was extremely distracting as I tried to order my coffee. The woman at the cash-register smiled at me and asked if I had a student card.

"I forgot it at the dorms," was my excuse, as I smiled sheepishly.

"It's fine, I'll give you the discount, who other than a college kid would be out at 3:30 in the rain?" was her response. I wasn't sure whether to be offended or amused. I turned around and walked back to my table. The rain continued to steadily pelt down on the city, gale-force winds rattling the window.

Some time around 3:45, the bell at the door rung, and a soaked man in with dark brown hair and a black trench-coat ran into the shelter of the cafe. He made a b-line for the register, quickly ordering before flashing a student card. I figured he went to Trost, though his beat-up converse had already told me he was a student. He flashed the woman a warm smile, and turned his back to me, while choosing a seat on the opposite side of the cafe. When he turned slightly to shuck off his coat, the shock of painful recognition shook my body.

_Freckles, big brow eyes, tanned skin._

_The face of a stranger._

 


	2. Hide your fear when they are near

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean Kirstein continues to have no friends.. so he thinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy...so it's been a while. Things got a little crazy when I moved, and then went overseas... you just want to get on with the chapter, okay  
> Don't hate me for changing Jean's birthdate I just needed to because plot line n shit

Now, in this situation, I could be all cliché and do the usual, ' _Time stood still and he gazed across the room',_ but that didn't really happen. Sure, time did give a casual pause as I tried to process the situation, my brain fried from sleep deprivation and the smell of burnt coffee beans. I was just trying to be as casual as I possibly could be. Nabana had always been very into the whole dream analysation and palm reading scene, so I'd heard way too many times that, ' _People only appear in a dream if you've seen them before in real life.'_ Well explain this Banana. Here I was, in the middle of a 24 hour café, at 3:45 am, sitting across the room from a complete stranger who by some means has been able to pop-up in my dreams. Well, my only dream. 

A bead of icy sweat trickled down the back of my neck. I could almost feel the blood draining from my face.

"Black coffee for Marco, and a hazelnut Latte for _John_?" The sound of his name snapped me out of my momentary lapse of consciousness. Unwillingly, I dragged myself up to the counter, grey water dripping off of my shoes. I was suddenly made incredibly aware of how soaking I actually was. The wetness which formerly resided on my hoodie had sept through to my skin, causing his t-shirt to cling uncomfortably to my body. I felt like a fucking mop. For some reason, I envisioned a giant, cold dog tongue just resting on my back. That though made me shudder. 

In fact, I was so enveloped in my own reflection that I almost disregarded a light tap to my right shoulder. 

"Excuse me sir, but it seems like you've picked up my coffee by accident." A friendly voice chirped as I turned around. I was met by a grinning freckled face, framed by damp black hair. It was the stranger. _How had I not noticed him getting up from his seat am I an actual blind person?_   I glanced down at the steaming paper cup in my hand and sure as day, on the lid read,  _'_ _Black coffee-Marco'_

"O-oh, sorry, my mistake." there was an awkward silence as we exchanged coffee cups. "So, uh-I overheard that you go to Trost."

"Yea, I'm majoring Creative writing. I assume you go there too."

"What makes you think that?" 

"It's almost 4 am in Jivin' Joe's, the day after move-in, you're wearing a Ramones shirt, and you're ordering complicated, fancy coffee." Marco sported an especially cheeky grin that would have been endearing, if it weren't for the frightening battle going on inside my brain. Me vs me.

_Focus Kirstein_

"Are you majoring in criminology or something Sherlock?" I really did try to be casual as I raised my eyebrow, and attempted a laugh, but it sounded more like choking. Fortunately, the man-Marco, seemed to have a pretty shitty sense of humor, and managed a chuckle at Jean's terrible attempt at polite conversation. I tentatively held out  my hand, "Jean Kirstein, Freshman, I'm sticking with arts for now." Marco gripped it tightly, his hands rough and searing hot against Jean's. "Marco Bodt, Sophmore."

_Marco Bodt_

" _Jesus Christ_   your hands are like ice!" Marco quickly retracted his own hand from the shake. I honestly didn't notice until then that my hands were pretty fucking cold, it's not something you notice until they're pressed up against something warm. "I think we should get you back to your dorm, plus, you're soaking wet." That much was already made evident by the unattractive squelch of my wet sneakers on the lino floor, and the _shlop_ sound my clothes made around me if I tried to move too much. 

"You don't need to baby me, I'm perfectly capable of going home on my own."

"Bullshit, how old are you, like eighteen? That's barely an adult."

"Says you, mister Sophomore and ready to face the world?" I chuckled as Marco knocked me playfully in the shoulder.

"Well, maybe not the world, but seriously how old are you?" 

"Seventeen." I muttered in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"I'm Seventeen," I spat out in a voice closer to regular speaking volume.

"Are. You. KIDDING ME?" Marco looked astounded, mimicking the body language of someone who was about to cause a scene. I pleaded for Marco to keep his cool for just one more minute as we both scuttled out of the cafe "You need to get to your dorm right now I can't believe the clerk let you leave. You're a minor for god's sake!"

"Well you know what they say, they like 'em young."  _  
_

"I am positive that _they_ do not say that."

That about settled my fate, and that's how I ended up in a taxi, dripping wet and on my way to campus with a some random sophomore who went to my college. The driver seemed mildly unimpressed by our soggy presences, shooting angry glances at us any time we began to talk. I could feel buckets of water seeping through me clothes onto the back seat of the cab. We gave up on talking, neither of us seemed in the mood, and that didn't really bother me. I was used to silence. It was easy for me to hide in. Silence allowed me to be the background character in everyone else's stories. Was that lonely sometimes? A bit, but it was better than getting carried away in the world and loosing something you love.

Someone you love.

I turned my head slightly to the side, noticing immediately that Marco's gaze was fixed on me. I quickly looked away, not addressing the fact that a complete stranger was so blatantly boring holes in the side of my face. Well not a complete stranger anymore. He had introduced himself, we could be considered acquaintances. 

Friends?

Barely, not even close.

_And hopefully not any closer._

_"Marco Bodt."_

There was just something about the way the boy said his own name that sent shivers down my spine. Were they good or bad, who knows? I wasn't too sure of anything lately. This guy was at least interesting enough to discuss with someone, but no one other than Banana sprung to mind.

During the rest of the ride in that taxi cab, I began saw the one major flaw in my background character plan. The only person who'd be close enough to me to discuss anything interesting right now would be Marco himself. 

The world started to seem a whole lot bigger.

* * *

 

There was something so inexplicably calming about watching the faintest drops of twilight pour into the sky. First it would be pewter, then lilac, then the dawn would break the horizon in a cacophony of hues. I focused mostly on the sky and the sound of my squelching shoes as I traversed the large oval between me and the main housing of the Maria dorms. I had read on the _Trost Confessions_ Facebook page that it was the quickest way to get to them from the main road, which otherwise would have required an unpleasant trek up a large hill. 

"Are you sure this is ok?" A voice behind him whispered loudly. I jumped ever so slightly, consumed by my own presence.

"Relax, we won't get caught." I had almost forgotten that I had agreed to let Marco walk with me to the dorms. I just wasn't used to the concept that there were humans in this world who would _insist_ upon hanging out with me. If that's what you'd call walking to your dorms with a total stranger you'd just met _that very same day_  at some ungodly hour of the morning. He could have been an assasin trying to seize my father's business for all I knew. He could have been a complete sociopath, or anything. But every time Marco smiled, or took a stab at trying to make me a little more cheerful, all doubts I had about his character melted away.

Eventually, we reached the Maria dorms. Through the glass doors, I saw the night clerk starting to pack up various items he had used to entertain himself during what was probably the most tedious shift on earth. A different man than the one the previous day was settling in behind the desk. He was towering with choppy light-brown hair, which concealed his eyes. I actually wondered if it impaired his vision, and how he was supposed to check student IDs with hair like that. He was constantly sniffing the air, as if trying to detect a foul odour. I thought that he might inhale a hair from his beard if he sniffed too hard. 

"So, this is uh, where we part ways?" Marco asked as he walked me into the building. A burst of warm, dry air wrapped around me and I let out a small sigh of relief. I had to admit, I was still fucking wet, and slightly freezing. I shot a glance across to Marco, eagerly expecting an answer. 

"Ah, actually do you want to come up to my room and maybe get dry or have a shower or something?" At this point, I had no clue what he was doing, my mouth was just saying words without consulting my brain first. 

"Are you sure that your roommate would be okay with that? I don't want to disturb them." _God dammit Marco why do you have to be so goddamn polite, I can't turn back now._

"My roommate's an asshole anyway, I couldn't care less if you disturbed him or not," Marco frowned slightly at that statement, "BUT, he was out last night and I'm pretty sure he's at someone else's place so you wouldn't be disturbing anyone." And with that, the slight scowl melted off Marco's face, and a rosy tint spread slowly over the apples of his cheeks. I couldn't help but blush myself. There was just something strange about Marco that reminded me of a warm fire, constantly radiating life. If first impressions were everything, Marco had made the best one I could ever remember. 

During the walk up to Jean's room, we remained in comfortable silence, a rarity for someone whose main function in life was to create awkward situations. I fumbled for my keys and popped open the door with minimal difficulty. I wanted to thank the deities for Eren's absence, but that would have given Marco a reason to leave me alone. It was easier to have an excuse to not get close to someone, manually driving a wedge between yourself and a potential friend was exhausting, emotionally and physically. 

"If it's not too much trouble, do you mind if I take a shower?"  _Yes I do please leave my room._

"Not at all, just let me grab you a towel."  _What are you doing? Get him out._ The image of Marco's grin burned into my brain as I turned to rummage through my newly unpacked belongings. I managed to produce a towel, albeit a tiny one, but it'd have to do. I turned and half-heartedly chucked it at the man who was currently making himself comfortable on my bed. Jean's bed. The bed that belonged to Jean. The bed specifically for Jean. 

Under usual circumstances, I would have practically thrown Marco off immediately.

Under usual circumstances, and there was certainly nothing usual about these ones. My eyes trained slightly too long over Marco's hand that was resting lightly on my sheets.

"Is everything okay _Jean_?" The way my name rolled off Marco's tongue made me shiver with discomfort for some reason. It sounded too beautiful to belong to me. 

"Ugh, I don't usually like people touching my stuff, I'm not really used to the whole sharing thing." I applauded himself for saying at least one truthful thing that morning.

"Oh, were you an only child?" Marco asked. 

"Something like that." _Well that put an end to any comfortable conversation that existed before that moment_. I could almost feel the awkward tension rising between us. "The bathroom's right there if..."

"Oh yea, thanks." Marco scratched the back of his neck and rose from the bed, a large wet patch forming where he once sat. _Well shit, now I have to dry my sheets. So much for polite and considerate._

The bathroom lock flicked shut, the sound of the shower cutting through the icy silence in my now almost empty room. I decided that I should probably rid myself of these wet excuses for clothes before I actually caught a cold. I was actually starting to feel pretty uncomfortable about how..nice I was managing to be. To Marco. To some random man that I had never met before.

_But you have met him before._

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up stiff at the thought of the dream. What an uncomfortable way to make someone's acquaintance, I mused to myself as my wet shirt released its titan-grip on my head. I had been trying to ignore the more serious implications of the dream while Marco and I interacted, but now that I was alone, the possibilities came flooding back. Marco could have been just some background face, hiding in the edges of my life, sure, but I would have remembered a face like that. Big, kind eyes, that scruffy undercut, the light dusting of chocolate-coloured freckles over his olive skin; Marco was an attractive guy, and I was comfortable enough with my masculinity to admit that. Marco was also pretty well-built, and I was sure that he'd probably be able to knock my scrawny ass too the floor pretty easily.

I chucked my clothes aside, and slipped into one of the less embarrassing pairs of pyjamas that my mother had slipped into my bags, not that I'd be getting any sleep with the sun pouring over the windowsill. Outside the window, I could see two crazy people were already up, dragging their asses around in exercise gear. I never really understood those types of people. I even chuckled slightly when one of them tripped and collapsed onto the floor. The guy, I could now confirm, didn't even attempt to get up, complaining loudly to the short brunette woman for hauling him out this early. The woman snapped at him playfully, attempting to pull him up from the floor. They really were acting like they were in their own little world, it was so comical. I wondered if the two were a couple. It would've been almost sweet, the way they play-fought until they jogged around the corner of the building, if it wasn't so tragic. I'd never been one to make those types of relationships work. The romantic ones. They were fragile and delicate, although searing hot and powerful at the same time. Love did strange things to people. It worked it hands over them, sculpting up and down until they suddenly shatter like cold glass.

I'd begun to rip off my soggy-ass sheets, when the bathroom door clicked open. 

_Well there goes my self-esteem._

Only that tiny towel concealed Marco's bottom half, and there was definitely nothing on top. His torso shone as beads of water dripped from his hair onto his shoulders. I was tongue-tied.

"Hey, do you mind lending me something to wear? Everything I've got's kinda wet." Marco obviously didn't understand how flattering the towel looked on him. I bet that if I'd let him go outside in that right then, every female on campus would have thrown themselves at the poor guy, maybe even a few males.  _He must get around._ The thought caused me to feel completely inferior. Marco was older, nicer, happier and far better looking than I could ever be. Then why was he insisting on hanging around? Most regular guys would have just passed on the shower and the clothes and most regular guys would not be standing ass naked in my room, with only a towel covering their junk. Who was this person?

"Yea, I should have something that fits you, my mother still lives in hope that I'm going to bulk up one day, so she always sneaks ridiculously large shit into my wardrobe." I'd always been told that I was shaped like a string bean, tall, but maybe one of the gangliest guys you'll ever meet. Sports has never been my thing, I've always been more of a hazard to other people and myself. I handed Marco a pile of some of the biggest clothes I owned, just to be safe. 

To be honest, I was almost relieved when Marco didn't linger much longer, snatching the clothes then hurrying back to the bathroom. Well I was relived until Jeager decided to show up.

"Ugh, you're still here, how was your pity-party last night?" Eren sneered as he crossed the room to rummage through his unpacked luggage. "Oh and don't think I'm staying here tonight-" his speech cut off abruptly as the sound of the bathroom faucet coming to life rung through the dorm. Eren stared at the door in disbelief, then back at me, and I couldn't help but look more than a little smug at the implications of what Eren was thinking. Right on cue, Marco waltzed into the room, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. 

"Eren?" Marco raised an eyebrow in confusion. My jaw just about hit the floor. Marco _knew_ this guy?

"Marco wh-I didn't know you were into dudes, and scrawny ones for that." This was bad.

"It's really not what you think, I got caught in that rainstorm and Jean offered to let me shower and dry off here." That definitely wasn't the main issue.

"How the fuck do you two know each-other?" I managed. Marco was just so...Marco and Eren was pretty much the opposite of whatever that was.

"He's Armin's roommate." Eren stated plainly. Slowly, the waves of realisation crashed down on me like an avalanche of bricks. If my assumptions were correct..."I'm getting him to switch with me so that I don't have to deal with all of your bullshit." Jeager's nose was scrunched up like prune as if he was considering what could go down if he and I actually stayed together for longer than necessary. Marco chuckled and muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite make out.

"Looks like you're stuck with me." Marco teased. I really wanted to react, but I was too busy choosing between screaming and running away. Eren smirked, announcing that he'd be staying with Armin for a bit, "Feel free to use my bed, if you'll need it. Oh, and nice pjs man, real cute."

"Oh fuck off Jeager," I managed to stutter out as he waltzed out of the door, poking his tongue out like a fucking five year old. There were a couple seconds of awkward silence where we could only manage to stare at each other, and I'm not sure whether it was in disbelief or in awe, but it was one of those two. Little flecks in Marco's eyes reflected the morning light, and I really couldn't tell you how that made me feel, or why it made me feel anything. 

"So...do you want to go out for pancakes or something? I feel like there are a lot of things we need to talk about." Marco's voice tumbled casually from his mouth. He was so smooth, how did he just say that while looking someone right in the eyes? "Maybe you should choose something more...appropriate to wear." Marco gestured to my highly-colourful wardrobe choice.

I sputtered a bit. I had almost forgotten again. "Well obviously, I'll go change," Thank god for people who were not me. "But pancakes...would be great." Yea I was pretty starving, not to mention desperate for a coffee. I shot him a quick grin as I went to pick up my keys, and at that moment, I knew there was something very, very wrong with the way my stomach did a little flip when he smiled back.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this is going


End file.
